Sunday school, frustration, autism, and thank God for LEGO.

Oh dear …… I sure didn’t see that coming at Sunday school.
Nope.

At the beginning of it we do a thing of everybody takes a turn, if desired, for a minute or two to tell about happy happenings, seek support for less than happy happenings, or just generally say hey here’s current news from my life.

I let out how I was really truly actually feeling deep inside with the frustrations of getting safe and accurate health care for the neurological, endocrine, immunological, mitochondrial, stuff that’s going on, all of it currently incurable, and though I have had some good care here and there, the whole several decades of disappointment and frustration about all that and a misdiagnosis or two along the way came tumbling out.

And how it is impacting my spiritual life.

And in the process of telling all this my emotions in the right here and right now began to run high.

Which would be a logical effect of the cause.

And then a couple of the men in class did what we men all too often do.
Instead of recognizing the deep frustration and hurt at the root of the thing they started chastising me for having wrong attitudes and wrong feelings and wrong thoughts; I “SHOULD” be feeling this other thing and “SHOULD” be thinking this other other thing because the Bible says …. and since I am not doing that, I am in the wrong, the situation is not the problem, I am the/my problem.

You know how autism meltdowns are pretty much guaranteed to happen as a result of an overload of physical sensations, or mental stimulus, or emotions?

Yeppers.

Oh yeah.

Very much so.

I guess it was a “fight, freeze, or flight” thing, or a mix of some portion of those.
I told them off, got up and left.
Not quite running out the door.

Went home, a whole 2.1 miles away.
Hugged my two feline rescue fellows my then Psychologist gave me a decade ago.
Loitered a bit.
Then sat down on the floor to finish the LEGO Mars research shuttle.
Set has 2 instruction booklets for the shuttle and 1 for the rover and drones.
I had done 1st part of shuttle a day or two previously.
It is now done.
And I want to buy a few parts to modify it a bit.
Still need to do book 1 and parts bag 1 which has the rover and 2 drones.

IMG_905925

Then I took a short nap.
Went to Taco Bell for lunch.
Came home and took a longer nap.

And along the way was on and off the internet.
Apparently the LEGO shuttle also has internet access.
LEGO stuff is so cool.
And a great way to zone out and unwind for a bit.
IMG_9068

Oh, almost forgot! At some point during the evening I went to Walmart and there as a customer at the Service Desk where I went to get a money order was a gal from Sunday school, who I forget her name but is recently widowed after having been married to a fellow who got a broken neck and became quadriplegic. And she’s a nurse. We visited a bit and she gave me a hug, she gets the frustrations with medical care thing, all too well, from both sides of the thing.

Life. Hmm.

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